I’m taking some time to really think about what I want to express. You have permission to share this anywhere you like. I’d like to first share with you a little bit of my background to give context to how Mindvalley played into my life this last year.
I’m a Canadian Actress. I spent from September 2013 to February 2016 in New York City pursuing my acting dreams. The first two years in NYC were incredible. The last six months were profoundly traumatic. I followed an acting Guru to the States who promised many things. I trained with him for four years in Toronto prior to the move. This wasn’t a whimsical decision. He promised all the things a hard working Canadian actress wanted to hear.
At one point there were four of us actors living in a one one-bedroom Manhattan apartment. I worked under the table at a restaurant. One of my roommates was escorting to make ends meet. I was living the dream, right?
Long story short, I returned to Toronto on March 1, 2016, in massive debt, disenchanted and barely skirting the law. I was beyond broken. Eyeballs deep in PTSD and the dark thoughts. A doom-and-gloom cloud of depression off in the distance sky drifted towards me every so slowly. It hadn’t hit yet, but it was coming. My best friend in Toronto wanted me to write a movie about it. If I ever do, the theme would be: how not to base all your self-worth on an outside source.
All I knew to do at the time was to get up each morning and jog. I listened to motivational speeches on YouTube. I was running for my life. Every day I would wake up, forced myself out of bed, wrestled my workout gear on and listen to Tony Robbins, Les Brown, Zig Ziglar, Wayne Dyer ( you name it .
“Repeat after me:` Tony would say ` I am a leader! I will conquer! Fight Fight Fight!”. And off I went.
It was still early March at the time. The doom -gloom cloud engulfed me at this point. So my run each morning wasn’t very fast. It looked more like a painful hop. It took every ounce of strength to get to the park four blocks away.
One morning a recommend video popped up in my YouTube feed. I ignored it and went about my day. The same video popped up the next day. I’m on a mission. I don’t need distractions. Ignore the video again. The third day, I checked it out. It was Christie Marie Sheldon. She had a talk about Energy Clearing. I watched it. It hooked me immediately. I really was interested in getting a course from her. My credit cards and line of credit were all on lock down. A week later I had coffee with my mother. She asked me if I needed any courses or books. Interesting timing, wouldn’t you say? I got Christie’s course. This was the point where I began to function better. This work was my turning point.
One needs to take into account that I also was running ( hopping) daily, got professional therapy and choosing to put a smile on. I was taking massive action towards finding the root of my problem to healing. So it wasn’t only these energy clearing sessions that saved me. But I truly, deeply believe that Christie’s sessions were the main tool that got me out of my emotional state by August 2016. That’s less than six months.
Money was starting to enter in my life in many ways. It just showed up. I was gifted with job opportunities. I was being supported. My doom-and–gloom cloud opened up a tiny little sun pocket. A few months later, I got another email. Christie Marie Sheldon is having a free online clearing session the next night. Sign me up. The next evening I got myself ready for the session. I had my notebook beside me.
Before she kicked off, some guy comes one. He introduced Christie and chatted a bit. My immediate reaction, honestly…..was: “Oh no. It’s another American Guru who wants my money and his name is Vishen!
Another cult. Do not trust! Do not trust! Do not Trust! How did I get myself back to square one? I won’t give them my money. I’ll take my free stuff and not give them a dime.” This was my game plan.
It’s now September 2016. I got yet another email: “$1 dollar offer to try Consciousness Engineering 10 day trial.” What ! More free shit. Amazing! 10 days to see if it’s any good and then I will definitely return it. Remember, don’t give them a dime. This is a great plan.
The next bit is an astounding example of poverty consciousness. I purchased the trial package. My confirmation email came in. Shawn Achor was most recent talk. Shawn Achor gave me the simple task of writing down three things I’m grateful for. He also mentioned ‘Stress is neither good or bad. I listened to another talk. Sonia Choquette spoke about The Breath of Life. Tools for life were being offered. I turned my iPad off and sat silently in my basement apartment taking it all in.
It suddenly dawned on me that there were nearly fifty more talks I could listen to and only 10 days to do it. That’s five talks a day to get through it and make sure I got my $1 worth of education. Let me tell you, I did it. I went through every talk, except Tom Chi`s, within that 10-day trial. I found five hours a day for these talks while waiting tables, filming a web series of mine, fixing my relationship with my husband and going to therapy. I would listen to them at night, on the way to my shitty serving job, while I was setting up the restaurant, making notes, taking bathroom breaks to listen to more, on my jogs and on and on. At the end, I went to click the cancellation button. I did it. I beat the system! I look down at the monthly cost.
A little voice in my head whispered “You think your personal growth isn’t worth $29. You, my dear, cannot find $29 to save your own ass. How on earth do you think someone else will?” It makes me so sad for myself. For that version of me. I would love to comfort that one part of me. It’s remarkable how little I thought I had.
Since then, I have read Vishen’s book, learned how to speed read, my husband and I have done the 30-day challenge (which began to heal my marriage), currently in MyLo, and fell I in complete admiration for Lisa Nichols and Christie.
I’m driven as a person. If I want something, I create my own set points for accountability. What really works for me was the weekly conference calls I’ve been having on MyLo with Jon and Missy. I got to talk to them once. It had such an impact on me. I’m well aware of your efforts to personalize this work for all of us online. However, that one small chat made hearing other callers as part of my tribe. I also would love to know who else is in my area that is part of Mindvalley. I could probably just go on the Facebook and looks for acquaintances who liked like Mindvalley. Maybe I need to use the Tribe online more.
I also get overwhelmed with so many tools. How do I simplify? Jon Butcher suggested picking the top 5 things to change. Focus on those and the other habits will fall into place. How can I track my own journey? Well, MyLo is fostering that for me. Can Consciousness Engineering offer the same thing?
I gush over Mindvalley. If you ever have a satellite office in Canada, I would drop everything to work there. I’m still in major debt but there is forward motion. I’m currently searching for a way to transition my acting and teaching skills into a new career. What Lisa Nichols or Christie does touch my heart every time. This type of education is needed. The States has a reputation for not educating its own people. Mindvalley is redefining education. The Canadian public educational system is only marginally better. I’ll figure a way to offer my contribution to this.
Missy and Jon mentioned something this past week on MyLo. A gentleman called in on the weekly chats. He explained that he felt like all his life he had no luck. I can certainly relate to that. Missy responded with ” I don’t think you’re listening, You are supported. You’re not hearing it.” She said it more elegantly though. It’s so true. I’m in the second stage ( as Michael Beckwith would say ). I have decided to surrender, beginning to listen (as if at the entrance of the third stage). The doom-and– gloom cloud has passed.
Mindvalley gives it’s members several things, but the most important one is to know that our lives are voluntary. We have choices. We don’t have to live by these outdated systems. We live in a prosperous time. We are blessed to be able to self-actualize. There was a time not long ago that it would be impossible to do so. We can trail blaze new paths. That new path may fail and fail and fail. But within that failure will be an even
I admire Vishen. His humanity, humor, and humility set a new standard. I also am glad I didn’t miss Tom Chi `s talk. That would have been a real tragedy.
One day I will visit the head office.
Thank you for now.
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